Ha Zaa

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The Rants and Raves of a slightly neurotic, overly analytical, sometimes contradicting, and self procclaimed artist.

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Friday, May 13, 2011

is love enough

in so many movies and books I always hear/read this question and most often the answer depends upon the genre of the film/book.  in those deep, gritty books, love is never enough (well, rarely), and in those light, fun books, love is always enough and saves the day every time.

i've often thought about what type of book my life would be if it were a book, would be a horror book, a suspense thriller ... would it be a humorous book or a tragedy .. I guess time will tell and there may be chapters that are humorous and chapters that are tragic .. but the whole of it .. well i guess the easy way out for me is to say it remains to be seen ..

i don't buy that though .. i've realized i am more of a proactive person .. versus reactive .. i don't like to sit around and wait for things to happen to me .. if i want something .. my instinct is to devise a plan to get it .. and then execute that plan ..

there are many reactive people in this world, and fate happens to drop them in my lap time and time again .. and of course the nature of a proactive person is to do something and the nature of the reactive person is to not .. therein lies the root of a major frustration in my life .. i find that they are everywhere .. some in my personal life, in my family, my friends, some at work in my subordinates, colleagues etc ..

i think maybe i don't understand the reasoning behind a reactive approach to life .. well that's a lie .. i do understand it is a lot easier to just sit and bump along and wait for things to happen, but i wonder if people get what they want out of life that way .. i wonder if people get what they want out of life being proactive ..

on a recent house episode it was discussed whether someone is born with the hardwiring to be happy versus unhappy .. for example a happy person who wins the lottery will still be happy, but an unhappy person who wins the lottery will still be ultimately unhappy, even if they think this might answer all their prayers ..

interesting concept ..and of course upon self reflection .. i might just be one of those people who is unhappy .. but when i reflect even further .. i dont know if i was always that person .. i mean there were many years that i was just happy go lucky .. not sure when the turn happened .. and not unhappy in a sad way .. but unhappy in a needing something more kinda way ..

after watching mamma mia a couple of nights ago (the musical) .. i did ponder .. that maybe my life should be a musical, and that way no matter how sad or happy or funny it might turn out to be .. i'd be singing through it .. even when i feel sad .. turning on a sad song makes my sadness sort of valid and sort of beautiful ..

i have no closing for this blog and will just end abruptly