if a tree falls in desolate forest, will anyone read my blog?

so i was thinking about this today - yesterday i felt the need to drop, several times, that i blogged about something. of course in an effort to relay the importance of the topic we were discussing, that i enjoyed it enough to blog about it, and under that, a hidden attempt at tempting others to read it.

the old adage - if a tree falls in an isolated forest, no one is around in earshot, no one hears it, does it really make a sound.

dissecting this - if something occurs, without someone around to appreciate or acknowledge it, does it even really matter or exist ?

if no one is around to acknowledge that i exist, do i really exist? it's very philisophical if you ask me, but, then, no one asked me, so, again, do i really exist ?

the whole idea of awareness, it's something therapists love, it promotes insight, which well . . facilitates change in a therapuetic environment. though, awareness, does that affect the unacknowledged and unappreciated ? i can be aware of myself plenty, but until someone else comes along and acknowledges it, am i really worthwhile? self esteem seems to related to this as i'm typing and thinking. should i even care if someone else acknowledges and appreciates me ? shouldn't i be fine knowing I'm fine ? thats a big element in self esteem. but then, if i fall in a forest, does it really matter to anyone ? or the fact that it does matter to someone, that's the only reason the it matters at all.

a professor once told me, "people marry so they can have a witness to their life." i think that makes perfect sense.

vicky christina barcelona

what an interesting movie - it was woody allen - pleasant surprise - and i think it was well in-line with his style, even though he has to be like 100 and i expected his originality and creative juices to wear off by now . . .

lots of things came up for me in that movie - the fact that some loves exist but can never work because of missing elements. i definitely dug the idea that some people are always searching, some people want what they want, then they want the opposite of what they want, then the opposite just isnt what they thought they wanted. christina and vicky, i think sometimes these two ideas of life, these two forces of thinking can be a dichotemous metaphor of us and forces inside of us that constantly fight with each other. i think i've blogged about it before . . two sides, and each one feels that the grass is greener on the other side. one side is stable and moves towards maturity, the other is constantly looking for something, something huge, something moving, something new and fantasticly intense. these two may coexist for some people, i think that's the balance i'm looking for. i think one side winning over the other is too extreme for someone like me and then i'd become despondent vicky or dissatisfied christina. i think that the title embodies this idea because it's said in one simple breath, one sentence. vicky christina barcelona. and the city .. . don't get me started on the beautiful city and lifestyle of barcelona that this movie represented. maybe this is too idealistic, but damn me, it was something to be seen.

i immediately added it to my europe iten for next year. let's hope it goes through.

woody allen is a genius and everything he's touched with his imagination just moves me to no end.

hazaa.