so i was thinking about this today - yesterday i felt the need to drop, several times, that i blogged about something. of course in an effort to relay the importance of the topic we were discussing, that i enjoyed it enough to blog about it, and under that, a hidden attempt at tempting others to read it.
the old adage - if a tree falls in an isolated forest, no one is around in earshot, no one hears it, does it really make a sound.
dissecting this - if something occurs, without someone around to appreciate or acknowledge it, does it even really matter or exist ?
if no one is around to acknowledge that i exist, do i really exist? it's very philisophical if you ask me, but, then, no one asked me, so, again, do i really exist ?
the whole idea of awareness, it's something therapists love, it promotes insight, which well . . facilitates change in a therapuetic environment. though, awareness, does that affect the unacknowledged and unappreciated ? i can be aware of myself plenty, but until someone else comes along and acknowledges it, am i really worthwhile? self esteem seems to related to this as i'm typing and thinking. should i even care if someone else acknowledges and appreciates me ? shouldn't i be fine knowing I'm fine ? thats a big element in self esteem. but then, if i fall in a forest, does it really matter to anyone ? or the fact that it does matter to someone, that's the only reason the it matters at all.
a professor once told me, "people marry so they can have a witness to their life." i think that makes perfect sense.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
vicky christina barcelona
what an interesting movie - it was woody allen - pleasant surprise - and i think it was well in-line with his style, even though he has to be like 100 and i expected his originality and creative juices to wear off by now . . .
lots of things came up for me in that movie - the fact that some loves exist but can never work because of missing elements. i definitely dug the idea that some people are always searching, some people want what they want, then they want the opposite of what they want, then the opposite just isnt what they thought they wanted. christina and vicky, i think sometimes these two ideas of life, these two forces of thinking can be a dichotemous metaphor of us and forces inside of us that constantly fight with each other. i think i've blogged about it before . . two sides, and each one feels that the grass is greener on the other side. one side is stable and moves towards maturity, the other is constantly looking for something, something huge, something moving, something new and fantasticly intense. these two may coexist for some people, i think that's the balance i'm looking for. i think one side winning over the other is too extreme for someone like me and then i'd become despondent vicky or dissatisfied christina. i think that the title embodies this idea because it's said in one simple breath, one sentence. vicky christina barcelona. and the city .. . don't get me started on the beautiful city and lifestyle of barcelona that this movie represented. maybe this is too idealistic, but damn me, it was something to be seen.
i immediately added it to my europe iten for next year. let's hope it goes through.
woody allen is a genius and everything he's touched with his imagination just moves me to no end.
hazaa.
what an interesting movie - it was woody allen - pleasant surprise - and i think it was well in-line with his style, even though he has to be like 100 and i expected his originality and creative juices to wear off by now . . .
lots of things came up for me in that movie - the fact that some loves exist but can never work because of missing elements. i definitely dug the idea that some people are always searching, some people want what they want, then they want the opposite of what they want, then the opposite just isnt what they thought they wanted. christina and vicky, i think sometimes these two ideas of life, these two forces of thinking can be a dichotemous metaphor of us and forces inside of us that constantly fight with each other. i think i've blogged about it before . . two sides, and each one feels that the grass is greener on the other side. one side is stable and moves towards maturity, the other is constantly looking for something, something huge, something moving, something new and fantasticly intense. these two may coexist for some people, i think that's the balance i'm looking for. i think one side winning over the other is too extreme for someone like me and then i'd become despondent vicky or dissatisfied christina. i think that the title embodies this idea because it's said in one simple breath, one sentence. vicky christina barcelona. and the city .. . don't get me started on the beautiful city and lifestyle of barcelona that this movie represented. maybe this is too idealistic, but damn me, it was something to be seen.
i immediately added it to my europe iten for next year. let's hope it goes through.
woody allen is a genius and everything he's touched with his imagination just moves me to no end.
hazaa.
Monday, June 29, 2009
time to blog again
okay so it's time to blog again i guess . . .
there are times when i think certain traditional institutions are obsolete and just as technology has outrun evolution, they have outrun social institutions as well. The difference here . . . we can change social institutions . . we can change them !!! wow. novel. i know.
i think that in a world of instant gratification and ridiculous technology . . . social pressures seem as outdated as clubbing my meal every afternoon and grunting responses to my peers. social pressures will encourage those that just aren't cut out for marriage to procede to ruin several lives and those that aren't cut out to have children the same. similarly there are other institutions that are supposedly "the next step" or "this is just what's done" that will make many people more miserable than happy. family units were necessary evolution-wise as survival was difficult independently. more people mean more help and more chances that seeds will live on and procreate. nowadays . . . well . . evolutionary instinct will take us to a place where logic, new world order and technological saavy might collide to disrupt happiness FOREVER.
me myself and i will not be able to change things about the world immediately. i can think about them and make sure i dont make any mistakes in my life. . . but i guess thats all i can do. i just look around and see so many collisions that it boggles my mind that more thought is not put into decisions that will effect a significant number of lives. who am i to judge what has occurred for eons. but who would i be if i didn't think for myself and stand up to blog against atrocities.
also - im hitting the pool today. who's in ?
there are times when i think certain traditional institutions are obsolete and just as technology has outrun evolution, they have outrun social institutions as well. The difference here . . . we can change social institutions . . we can change them !!! wow. novel. i know.
i think that in a world of instant gratification and ridiculous technology . . . social pressures seem as outdated as clubbing my meal every afternoon and grunting responses to my peers. social pressures will encourage those that just aren't cut out for marriage to procede to ruin several lives and those that aren't cut out to have children the same. similarly there are other institutions that are supposedly "the next step" or "this is just what's done" that will make many people more miserable than happy. family units were necessary evolution-wise as survival was difficult independently. more people mean more help and more chances that seeds will live on and procreate. nowadays . . . well . . evolutionary instinct will take us to a place where logic, new world order and technological saavy might collide to disrupt happiness FOREVER.
me myself and i will not be able to change things about the world immediately. i can think about them and make sure i dont make any mistakes in my life. . . but i guess thats all i can do. i just look around and see so many collisions that it boggles my mind that more thought is not put into decisions that will effect a significant number of lives. who am i to judge what has occurred for eons. but who would i be if i didn't think for myself and stand up to blog against atrocities.
also - im hitting the pool today. who's in ?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
boring
sitting here trying to blog and thinking about how to outline a new book a friend and i are trying to write . . i wont divulge too much of the concept - but it should be a witty string of stories regarding women and the woes that befall us in this 'sex and the city' generation. and what i mean by that is that is the wonderful anecdotes of dating and disasters :)
it's been done. yes. but not like this it hasn't. coming soon to stores near you !!
must get ready for dinner plans - soooooo tired shouldn't have gone to bed so late last night -
next weekend should prove a nice vaca from the 6-7 day weeks i've been working lately . .
my hair lady needs to return from vacation immediately to cut my hair. it's hot and my hair is long and blanket-y - boo.
this is not one one of my best blogs, i feel it as im typing. it's actually pretty boring. why are you still reading this.
it's been done. yes. but not like this it hasn't. coming soon to stores near you !!
must get ready for dinner plans - soooooo tired shouldn't have gone to bed so late last night -
next weekend should prove a nice vaca from the 6-7 day weeks i've been working lately . .
my hair lady needs to return from vacation immediately to cut my hair. it's hot and my hair is long and blanket-y - boo.
this is not one one of my best blogs, i feel it as im typing. it's actually pretty boring. why are you still reading this.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Ive been thinking lately, about how the decisions you make now are supposed to sustain you for the rest of your frickin life. how fair is that?
i have to pick what job i want when im 18. ya i know A LOT when im 18. then i have to pick a spouse at like 25. im sure when im 40 ill be sooooooo impressed with my 25 year old knowledge. then soon after you are required to have children and raise them correctly. well, if you're in your twenties then clearly you're qualified with enough life experience to be morally, emotionally and financially responsible for mutliple lives. CLEARLY.
sometimes i feel that the best i can do is whats best for me now. worrying about forever is going to get no where because well, ill be different in 10 years, in 5 years, in 20 minutes. it will be a hole of circular logic.
how is it that the very experiences that give us experience are brought on by decisions made my naive inexperienced hoo-ha's. and yes i just made up that word.
for instance, people in their 40s that have overcome adversity, raised a family against odds, changed careers 4 times . . finally finding their bliss . . . seem like they have life experience, excellent advice, and a decent sense of contentment in their lives
people in their 40s with no kids, living like bachelors, overcoming few obstacles, working at a dead-end job with no motivation or energy to change paths . . well you wouldn't necessarily go to them for life advice.
sometimes it seems making mistakes in life is the only thing that keeps me together and hopeful for the future -
it's not even a little bit comforting that everyone else is in the same boat too.
i have to pick what job i want when im 18. ya i know A LOT when im 18. then i have to pick a spouse at like 25. im sure when im 40 ill be sooooooo impressed with my 25 year old knowledge. then soon after you are required to have children and raise them correctly. well, if you're in your twenties then clearly you're qualified with enough life experience to be morally, emotionally and financially responsible for mutliple lives. CLEARLY.
sometimes i feel that the best i can do is whats best for me now. worrying about forever is going to get no where because well, ill be different in 10 years, in 5 years, in 20 minutes. it will be a hole of circular logic.
how is it that the very experiences that give us experience are brought on by decisions made my naive inexperienced hoo-ha's. and yes i just made up that word.
for instance, people in their 40s that have overcome adversity, raised a family against odds, changed careers 4 times . . finally finding their bliss . . . seem like they have life experience, excellent advice, and a decent sense of contentment in their lives
people in their 40s with no kids, living like bachelors, overcoming few obstacles, working at a dead-end job with no motivation or energy to change paths . . well you wouldn't necessarily go to them for life advice.
sometimes it seems making mistakes in life is the only thing that keeps me together and hopeful for the future -
it's not even a little bit comforting that everyone else is in the same boat too.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
okay, so finally caught up (somewhat) in life - booking plane tickets for weddings, vaccuuming, dusting, dishes, sleep? work? etc etc
there was a moment where i wished i had the swine flu (not the terminal kind) so i can just take a break from life and not have to do anything
if any of you decided you want to get married this year - f - u. i'm not coming. i'm done with weddings this year. DONE. if by some stroke of ridiculousness, i decide to get married this year. i will be obligated not to attend. i'm DONE.
so sometimes, midweek, especially during a long work week, 6-7 day week . . i get a little bitter, and a little cynical. i get less warm and less nurturing, and more fake.
watch how i am with you this week. if im too nice, it means i really hate you and i was forced to be fake with you. if i'm snippy, well that is the just the way the cookie crumbles this week :)
if anyone wants a michalada this week, please let me know
the only thing i want to do is curl up on in the living room watching gilmore girls - it's predictable, and lame and witty sometimes - just want i need to take my mind and dip it in some jello and freeze it.
there was a moment where i wished i had the swine flu (not the terminal kind) so i can just take a break from life and not have to do anything
if any of you decided you want to get married this year - f - u. i'm not coming. i'm done with weddings this year. DONE. if by some stroke of ridiculousness, i decide to get married this year. i will be obligated not to attend. i'm DONE.
so sometimes, midweek, especially during a long work week, 6-7 day week . . i get a little bitter, and a little cynical. i get less warm and less nurturing, and more fake.
watch how i am with you this week. if im too nice, it means i really hate you and i was forced to be fake with you. if i'm snippy, well that is the just the way the cookie crumbles this week :)
if anyone wants a michalada this week, please let me know
the only thing i want to do is curl up on in the living room watching gilmore girls - it's predictable, and lame and witty sometimes - just want i need to take my mind and dip it in some jello and freeze it.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
okay, im back from twitter for an actual blog with actual complete thoughts.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/04/22/love.on.a.deadline/index.html?iref=t2test_livingwed
this woman has love on a deadline - good luck crazy.
okay so i've had a twitch in my left eye on and off for a few weeks now. there is either a good or bad luck factor in this according to my mother. which one? only time will tell.
i am now trying to recollect theories that may be of enough interest to discuss on 'da blog.
okay, people that love to hate the longhorns. get a life. we rule. i'm tired of this whole "you have too much pride" crap . . i mean really . . . so we found something in our aimless days of youth to guide us and nurture us into the fabulous* successes* we are today (*these terms are used loosely), so sue us. oh wait, in this world of frivolity . . you just might!
in other news, i reallllly love to hate the lakers. they are soo freaking good, that it's just pointless to not root for the other team . . . GO UTAH . . oh ya . . boozer's my homie. the whole utah team with their tailored goatees and waxed eyebrows look like the kumbia kings meet n'sync . . but taller i guess
today is hump day and i reaaaally wish it were friday. not even friday but like so way deep inside friday that the darkness of monday cannot reach me even two days away.
if anyone can find a way to eliminate allergies from life . . . or even specifically my life . . i'll give you five dollars. yes. and you can claim it in installments after you've paid taxes on it.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/04/22/love.on.a.deadline/index.html?iref=t2test_livingwed
this woman has love on a deadline - good luck crazy.
okay so i've had a twitch in my left eye on and off for a few weeks now. there is either a good or bad luck factor in this according to my mother. which one? only time will tell.
i am now trying to recollect theories that may be of enough interest to discuss on 'da blog.
okay, people that love to hate the longhorns. get a life. we rule. i'm tired of this whole "you have too much pride" crap . . i mean really . . . so we found something in our aimless days of youth to guide us and nurture us into the fabulous* successes* we are today (*these terms are used loosely), so sue us. oh wait, in this world of frivolity . . you just might!
in other news, i reallllly love to hate the lakers. they are soo freaking good, that it's just pointless to not root for the other team . . . GO UTAH . . oh ya . . boozer's my homie. the whole utah team with their tailored goatees and waxed eyebrows look like the kumbia kings meet n'sync . . but taller i guess
today is hump day and i reaaaally wish it were friday. not even friday but like so way deep inside friday that the darkness of monday cannot reach me even two days away.
if anyone can find a way to eliminate allergies from life . . . or even specifically my life . . i'll give you five dollars. yes. and you can claim it in installments after you've paid taxes on it.
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